Relationships are interesting, and can even get more interesting when you have found that partner who is ready to be your partner for the rest of their days, and when you talk about the things you need to talk about before marriage. Some marriages meet their end right from the very first night, which could be as a result of the fact that the couple didn’t discuss the things they needed to talk about before marriage. Marriage! Unlike dating, it comes with a great responsibility which requires total faithfulness from both partners, for it to work.
Are you taking her down the aisle? Or are you walking down the aisle with him? If yes you will find this post very helpful as it informs you about the things you need to talk about before marriage.
- Kids: if you haven’t considered talking about this yet, now is the time. It’s one of the things you need to talk about before marriage. It makes a lot of sense to discuss if you want children, and if yes how many? Is adoption allowed in case of infertility? When do you want to have your kids? You must plan your family size before marriage especially now that times are hard and the economy isn’t improving. This is more or less the reason why doctors and government are advocating for family planning.
- Source of Finance, Spending, and Savings: finance is one of the biggest things couples fight about and one of the most common sources of stress and tension. In fact, it’s one of the reasons some relationships haven’t gone into marriage. If you are getting married, you need to talk about whether to pool all income or keep separate accounts. You will also need to decide which account you withdraw from for daily expenses and for big investments. One of you may be a spender while the other a saver, you need to talk about the amount withdrawable that you will both be satisfied with. There is no accurate planning on how much to be spent but ensure to spend within the box of your budget and cultivate the habit of saving.
- Religion, Morals, and Values: there are well over 4000 religions in the world today, your religious belief might not seem like a big deal during courtship but you need to talk about it before marriage, as religions and morals play a bigger role in marriage than some couples expect. Some people go nut when their partner tend to be more religious than they expect or practice another religion different from theirs. You might decide to go into marriage with whatever religious belief or value your partner holds, but the problem immediately spurs out when you start making children and you are deciding on how to raise them. You need to talk about faith, morals and how you see it affecting your shared life right now.
- Lifestyle: you must know who your partner is and what his/her lifestyles are like. If you are thinking of going into marriage, you need to talk about your lifestyles. You need to know if he/she would like to go to the club (if you are a club person) with you, attend parties, go for summer breaks, you also need to know if he/she is a family person, their dressing styles, kind of food and so on…. Some marriages don’t last till after forever because partners do not understand each other’s lifestyle before marriage and can’t cope with them after marriage, that is why you need to talk about it before tying the knot.
- How to Handle Conflicts: marriage we know is an institution, and also the coming together of two different parties with the different background to become one. The difference in opinions, belief, and background of partners makes fight inevitable in every marriage, but how they handle it differs and will determine whether they will get through it or not. Understand each other’s attitude, behavior, and also ways of managing conflict. You need to talk about conflicts before marriage as it will definitely occur sooner or later in marriage. To handle conflict easily you may reminisce on recent fights and remember how it got settled, having in mind that you should respect the opinion of your partner if he/she doesn’t want to talk about it just yet.
The above-listed points are little out of many things potential couples need to talk about before marriage. Is there any other point you feel is left out of this post? Be kind to share your opinion using the comment box below. Thanks!